Proud of my darling for trying to cook tonight. Did it go well? No. No it did not. Not at all. To quote Rocky Balboa, “It’s not how many times you get knocked down, it’s how many times you get up... and keep moving forward.” As you can tell from the lump of coal in the center of the plate, this bagel bite never stood a chance. I honestly simply cannot imagine what went wrong here. Pretty simple. Microwave. 2 minutes. Maybe she thought it said 2 hours. But I want to commend her for her effort. This is a big step babe. Proud of you.
You had one job.
Par 3. No filter. With enough hard work, practice and patience, you too can master the game of golf.
I don’t think it’s polite to tease... So I better apologize in advance. @tomholland2013 and I were lucky enough to watch the teaser video for @pixaronward “Onward” and here is a video of us watching the video. It is a teaser video. So nah nah nah Boo boo. We got to see it and you didn’t. Now why don’t you go cry about it now!? #burn #roasted #teasing I’m so sorry please accept my apology.
Penelope the Border Leicester in twilight at #StillwaterRanch #farmlife The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me to #Stillwater
For seriously uplifting content follow @prince_ea this account is all heart. Makes ya feel good. Lord knows we can use it. Good stuff prince. Keep it up.
Good luck to @unbreakableperformance coach and fighter @a.v.a.knight in her @bellatorMMA debut tomorrow night in LA. DON’T MISS IT! Future champ no doubt!! World champion boxer making the step into the cage. I’ve seen her first hand. She is an incredible striker and well rounded all around fighter! We will be watching AVA! Can’t wait! 🙏♥️
To those of you who are wondering I squeaked out a victory over Chris Evans last week in the AGBO Fantasy Football Superhero League. One step closer to winning big for my charity the @braintreatmentfoundation Give them a follow and check out what they do! I should mention Chris Evans charity @christophershaven is a truly wonderful place as well. I was lucky enough to spend some time there a few years back. They are really doing incredible work over there- helping a lot of wonderful kids. I will be making a donation to them as well. I urge you to check them out and do the same if you please. 🙏♥️
Dropping a hot new poem I found. DING-DONGS Ding to the left. Dong to the right. The reverberations swell. Ding dong!Ding dong! They clang the outrage bell. Ding dongs on the far right fringes Squeaking mad like rusty hinges. Ding dongs from the far left squad Fixed on answers outside God. The media plays them like a fiddle Drowning out the healthy middle. Pick your tribe. State your name DISREGARD: WE’RE ALL THE SAME! (Burdened by a sinful heart and hiding in some form of shame. ) Change the channel! Don’t be late! Pundits tell you who to hate! Who’s a racist? Who’s a fake? 24 hours of news to break! Skewering truths, spewing sewage, leading mobs of frenzied voices, With two choices, red or blue, And key points to regurgitate. Echo chamber ringing, rips the fabric of society. (Followed by an ad for a pill you pop to stop anxiety. ) Get your blood a pumpin’ with some whisper fueled assumption, About someone who wore somethin’ or some singled out opinion among tweeters by the billions “But this one was so outrageous And egregious and alarming!” And you’re angry for the anger in your heart that had been forming Is on the verge of boiling over And you try but are unable Like Chernobyl in your heart the chain reaction is unstable And the blood pressure is higher than the moment just before... And the next commercial thankfully Is a high blood pressure cure. There’s a rhythm to this madness If you take a sec to look One option is unplug Put down your phone pick up a book But the other option probably is more helpful and realistic Find the humor, check the facts, and try to remain optimistic. Ask yourself the question: who profits from my rage? And prevent them from lining up their pockets with that booty. We’re His children despite race, creed, preference or age. Under God we’re indivisible. To stay United is our duty.
Like the sneaky lil paparazzi I am... I caught our Kune-Kune pigs, Tim and Faith, out on a lunch date and couldn’t help but get up in their grits. They’re just like us! Faith wore a chic black and white pork leather body chap with matching heel and Tim looked GLAM-AF rocking a custom brindle one piece hair suit with cloven hoof boot. The couple stayed under the radar at a #farmlife hotspot slurping chocolate milk and hazelnut oat surprise. #Couplegoals Witnesses heard Faith whispering the lyrics to “I need you” over desert as things got hot and heavy. #flirty “I wanna get lost in some corner booth. Cantina in Mexico. I wanna dance to the static of an AM radio. I wanna wrap the moon around us. Lay beside you skin on skin. Make love til the sun comes up. Til the sun goes down again.” OMG #Slay As a fan of the power couple, I cried for an hour straight curled up in a ball and LITERALLY died. And then my farmers Angie and Phil found me and asked “what the hell’s the matter with you?” #IDONTKNOW #farmlife #stillwater #STILLWATERRANCH
Excited to watch @uriahhall dominate tonight! watch him Espn+ right now!! Let’s go buddy!!!!
I’m playing against Chris Evans this week in the AGBO Fantasy Football Superhero League. The winner of this season will be getting a big fat AGBO check for the charity of their choice. I’m playing for the brain treatment foundation. They are extraordinary organization helping our warriors, our brave men and women in uniform suffering from traumatic brain injury, get the rehab they need to get back in their feet. Love them! Check out the braintreatmentfoundation.com to learn more about their extraordinary cause- and to donate if you please. And tune in as I put a healthy stompin’ on America’s Ass.
She moaned, eyes rolled back, caught in the vulnerable throws of ecstasy, longings met, tastebuds burning the finite moment in which she wanted not. If only we could love life the way this pig loves apples. #farmlife #stillwater #StillwaterRanch
I want to thank Tyra Banks for teaching me how to model. I will not be a no neck monster or limp noodle. As you can see I am not playing it safe. I create intensity without slouching. Even my hands are modeling their asses off. I’m f——ing working it girl.
Can’t wait to watch my brother from another mother @adelkyokushin compete again on one of the biggest stages in the world. #bellator229 #marines #iraq #GodIsGood #bellator #fighter
Thank you Abraham, Daniel, Israel, Jack, Lou, Geziah, Elias and Megan! My favorite part of this gig will forever be the time I get to spend with wonderful kids like you. Thank you @makeawishamerica You fill my heart and restore my soul.
Go to amazon and get you a cub coat! They are cute as heck. A stuffed toy that turns into a sweater! Smart idea. I wish I invited it. They have all the best marvel and Star Wars characters plus many more. For both boys and girls. Jack takes his to school. 30% off today for amazon prime day. I am not a paid spokesman. God bless. 👍🏼🇺🇸♥️🙏🤩👋🏽 AND CONGRATS TO MY LITTLE BROTHER @tomholland2013 FOR DOMINATING THE BOX-OFFICE TWO WEEKS IN A ROW!!!!
Happy Fourth!! I really respect the author Jack Carr. His books are really cool. And he fought for his country. Today we Americans celebrate with parades, fireworks, laughs, love and family. I really like what Jack has to say below. I personally believe it’s important to reflect upon the idea of America. Any institution made by humans is bound to be imperfect. But it is our responsibility to strive to improve, to form a “more perfect union”. What can we do? How can we heal this growing divide? I feel like recognizing the fact that nobody is perfect is a start. It allows us to judge less, to realize despite our differences we have common ground And what is our common ground? In the words of Abraham Lincoln “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” Sounds good to me! Quick edit: Yes, Jefferson wrote the words and later Lincoln spoke them. Interesting point to see how that idea evolved to mean so much more by then. What can it mean today? We continue to evolve. We strive to be more perfect. 🙏❤️🇺🇸 #Repost @jackcarrusa ・・・ “...we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.” I highly encourage all Americans to read the Declaration of Independence today, and every Fourth of July, with their families, as a tribute to those who pledged their Lives, their Fortunes, and their sacred Honor so that we could inherit the freedoms we enjoy today. Take the opportunity that Independence Day affords to discuss, particularly with your children, the freedoms and opportunities we’ve been entrusted to uphold, and our responsibility as citizens to pass them on to future generations. We will be reading it tonight. Strength and Honor. #IndependenceDay #1776 #FourthOfJuly #DeclarationofIndependence #Revolution #Fight #History #Honor #DontTreadOnMe #JoinOrDie #GadsdenFlag #LibertyOrDeath #GiveMeLibertyOrGiveMeDeath #Patriots #America #USA #Freedom
Thank you Katherine for my new pet Kune-Kune pigs!!! Best birthday present ever!! We named them Tim and Faith because they’re beautiful and their love is palpable and inspiring. I love them and can’t wait to watch them grow. And no they will not be bacon! They are the newest members of the Friendly Kingdom, select animals including sheep, goats, and pigs who we’ve pardoned. They will spend their entire lives thriving at the farm, until they pass naturally many, many years from now. Historically our relationship with animals has taught us so many valuable life lessons- ranging from the harsh realities of the cycle of life to the rewards of compassion, stewardship, love and care. #godbless #friendlykingdom #farmlife
Suns out guns out I might have got a toouuuch crispy on the honeymoon #Aloe
See #AvengersEndgame on the big screen one more time before it leaves theaters!
Happy Father’s Day to the strongest and funniest man I ever met. They don’t make em like you anymore. Which in some ways is probably a good thing. Haha!!! Love you and miss you every day Pop. ♥️
Yesterday was the best day of our lives! We became husband and wife in front of God, our families and those we love. It was intimate, moving and emotional. We feel so blessed to begin this new chapter of our lives. We are so thankful to our families and our friends who stood with us and grateful to Mr. Giorgio Armani who created a once in a lifetime dress for Katherine to wear and for me, the perfect suit. This morning we feel nothing but blessed.
@tomholland2013 and I play brothers in the movie. So I guess you could say Starlord and Spider-Man got their own spin off! But for real tho this has nothing to do with super heroes. I know you know that. Tom is the best, I love him like a little brother. He is so awesome. This movie is going to be your new favorite movie.
So incredibly proud of this one! In true Pixar fashion, “Onward” simultaneously moves and tickles. I cried when I first heard the pitch. It’s so funny and imaginative. Been a fan of Pixar forever. Now I’m in one of their films!
Rolo and I got the album cover. Now we’re going offline for a while to focus our music. Stay tuned. Big things coming.
Twin Suffolk lambs napping in the sunlight. They shall not want.
Surface ripples birthed by wind Moving through my favorite tree In the changing twilight hours Find your rest, and speak to me
When I’m gone some time from now, should I beat you to that end, And you long to hear from me, This is where I’ll be, my friend.
Get ready Go to themurphchallenge.com Get the shirt Do the murph #memorialdayweekend Sweat in the shirt, Post a pic, tag me, get a RT. LESSGO
Apparently I was an early fan of sushi as well.